Minecraft and The Soggy Noob

It Sounds So Familiar Somehow…

Minecraft, now there’s a topic you don’t hear much about, right? Right? …Just say yes and we’ll move on! Well I’ve played it quite a bit in my day, either by myself or with my son or via an occasional glorious three player sesh with the whole gang. But I’ve only ever played survival on the old version on the Xbox or Switch.  The updated version I’ve always just kind of ignored in lieu of playing what was familiar to me. Since they added all the new underwater stuff though I’ve been itching to take a crack at a survival playthrough and very recently I’ve decided to do just that.

Now, as I mentioned earlier, I’ve only ever played the “console” version, never the PC, and I’m told the newer updated version they released on the consoles is meant to mimic the PC one very closely (other than being able to mod it and such). I gotta say, it was a new experience and there were definitely differences.

Diamonds Aren’t Rare…Just Like Real Life!

I don’t know if I just happened to generate a very lucky seed or what, but I found that everything was just easier. I found diamonds on my first mining trip. Albeit I died and lost them attempting to get back to my house… maybe I forgot to bring my map ok?! Maybe I dug up under an underwater cavern and drowned while simultaneously being dog-piled by drowned zombies… nobody’s perfect!

Still, I found diamonds pretty quickly and then found a whole batch of new ones within my next few mining attempts. Also, zombie villagers were spawning like mad at one point. I had a good-sized village built up in no time without even having to coax the villagers into some baby-making. Which is a whole other can of worms in and of itself. I started out with a pack of cartographers and librarians, all nerds who probably fell in love instantly anyway, but they just started popping out kids without me having to do anything. I didn’t even have food for them or the proper number of doors. I was building a garden when I heard the unmistakable high-pitched baby villager “humph” and I was like “well ok then… guess you guys don’t need me…”.

I’ve always struggled with villages in the past on the old version. Finding that second zombie villager to turn was always a pain in the butt and then convincing them, via bread and doors, (because what else does romance require really?) to start “having relations” took forever. I dunno…it’s probably that I’m a super noob with this newfangled Minecraft, or old Minecraft as it were. I may have to try a round on the PC sometime just to compare.

Cube Encrusted Miracles

All kinds of things I would have deemed as extremely rare or practically non-existent in my previous playthroughs I encountered in just a few short hours of playing with minimal exploration. Actual mineable blocks of emeralds, charged creepers, witch huts, a skeleton horse exploding into a battalion of skeleton horse-riding skeletons…anarchy! It was kind of awesome! But in the end the ease of everything began to kill my desire a bit. And I swear I triple checked my settings to make sure I wasn’t in Easy Mode or something. That was the first thing I did when things started going a little too well. But again, it’s probably due to my noob-ish-ness with this particular version of Minecraft.

Loot for Days

I will say that all the new additions were really what kept me going though. Finding the sunken ships and treasure maps and buried treasure was super fun. Dolphins will lead you to that stuff if you feed them! Did you know that? I sure didn’t! Not until I read it in a tip on the loading screen anyway.  Just like real life! …What?? You mean dolphins DON’T lead you to treasure in real life? That’s like saying Santa isn’t real…

*Cough cough* Anyway, moving right along… I found the whole game to be a bit on the glitchy side in a lot of areas, but my first treasure map ended up being bunk. Which was super disappointing. I basically turned that entire beach into a sinkhole and no treasure chest was to be found. I’m told that can happen sometimes, but it was kind of unfortunate that it happened for my first time around.  Luckily, in the very near vicinity there was a sunken ship that gifted me with yet another treasure map and that one ended up paying off, with a Heart of the Sea no less! Huzzah! It really added a whole new level of exploration to the game to be able to grab a sword and some water breathing potions and go exploring for treasure under the water.

There were little houses that would have treasures or sea lanterns to pillage. Finding sunken ships was a rarer occurrence, but they would always have lots of sweet, sweet treasure like a chest full of emeralds and iron ingots. Random loot-based mechanics in games always please me greatly and Minecraft didn’t disappoint in the slightest this time around.  Usually I’m greeted with a chest full of wheat bundles and regret.

Old Timey New Things

The underwater additions are really well worth doing good ole fashioned survival playthrough all in themselves. They really add in a bunch of fun new things.  Regardless, I’m a sucker for underwater stuff since I just find it so darn fascinating. I used to want to be a Marine Biologist back in my “young and hopeful” days after all. I bet you didn’t you know that did ya? Because it would be weird if you did!

Anyhoozers, if you’re at all like me, and by that I mean, seriously behind the times and this all sounds up your Minecraft alley, grab yourself a Water-Breathing potion, feed some frisky dolphins, and see what you can dig up!


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