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A quest to conquer an ever growing backlog of games.

The Daily Backlog 85

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I skip lootin’ and shootin’ in favor of marathon puzzle solving in The Witness, and I’m paying for it!!

Hey, Where’s the Loot?!

Good day backloggers! Have you ever had the sort of day where you’re all geared up to talk about one thing, but you’re so distracted by another, that you have to get it off your chest? Well, that happened to me today, because I was all prepared to talk about the shiny purple engram known as Destiny 2 and loot all of it’s deliciously rare gear (details)… yeah this metaphor is going too far.

Anyways, Destiny 2 talk was on the docket for today’s post, but after sinking a mind numbing amount of time into The Witness over the last couple of days I’ve got a bone to pick with that BS slingin’, no sense makin’, puzzle game. If you can’t tell I’m feeling a bit salty about it, so we’re going to have words.

First off, let me say this before we whip up this doody storm (I’m trying to keep it PG this time around). The Witness is a fantastic puzzle game. It’s gorgeous, cleverly designed and intuitive (for the most part). You can really tell that the passions of the developers were put into it and a great deal of time was invested to make it such a polished experience. Even if it can be a tad full of itself. Honestly, I don’t get the whole, philosophical angle it’s trying to take. But that’s beside the point.

And with that out of the way, what I really want to talk about is something I like to call “Puzzle Game Burnout”. Or I guess more accurately, “The Witness In Particular Burnout”.

An Amalgam of Roadblocks

What I mean by that is, The Witness is way too long. There’s too much of it. It… just… needs… to… stop. Believe me, I appreciate the variety of puzzles and that there is a lot to do, but at this point it feels like each section has 10 more puzzles than are needed. And with each puzzle type becoming more and more complex, and more time consuming I’m beginning to care less and less. It could just be that I’m anxious to finish the game, but I don’t think it would have gotten to this point if the developers showed a little self restraint.

You see, I’m perfectly fine, frolocking around, admiring your pretty scenery and solving puzzles like they’re going out of style. I’m also fine with hitting a few roadblocks that take me a bit of time to solve. But it becomes a problem when you throw 50 roadblocks at me in a row. It also doesn’t help when you create a mechanic that’s so esoteric that it takes three separate guides fused together like some sort of deformed FAQ amalgam to even understand how it works. And even after that it still doesn’t work!! The worst however, is when you change the way you solve a certain type of puzzle midstream! I mean, who is going to pay attention to how your footsteps sound when you’ve literally never had to do anything like that before or after this very specific puzzle! It’s mind bottling and frustrating to say the least.

And I think it all comes back to, The Witness is just full of itself. It knows its pedigree and it’s going to flaunt it. It doesn’t care if you don’t understand or you can’t wrap your mind around the way it does things. It knows what it’s doing and you’ll be left in the dust if you can’t keep up. But we have a secret weapon, The Witness, and it’s called the internet!! So there.

A Prideful Resolve

But you know what? I’m going to keep playing it. I’m going to be the bigger man, eat my pride and finish this dang game! For one, because I’m almost at the end (hopefully, but who knows at this point), and for another because it’s still a great game. As much as I don’t want to say that right now. And maybe it’s just a game that you shouldn’t spend hours on end playing. You know, take a break from your puzzle solving homework and come back to it later. Because eventually completing it is better than dropping it and still having it on the backlog. And having to revisit this poo head of a game a year from now.

85mm is a Common Caliber for Cannons

Well, my friends, that’ll do it for today! And I gotta say, that feels good to get off my chest. Even though The Witness is a fantastic game, “The Witness In Particular Burnout” is real. So, pace yourselves friends. Enjoy life and solve one puzzle at a time. Or look it up on the internet. That’ll work too.

Also, I promise I’ll dive into Destiny 2 and talk about all things looting and shooting tomorrow. Because that’s pretty much what the wife and I have been up to. Aside from banging my head against The Witness. So, definitely look forward to that!!

Until tomorrow backloggers, have a great day!!